Rules for Men
1. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. It is okay for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
b. After wrecking his boss' Ferrari.
c. When his date is using her teeth.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is five minutes. Maximum waiting time is six minutes
7. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
8. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.)
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. It is permissible to have a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel ... and it's free.
11. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
12. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem -- you didn't see nothin'.
13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
14. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
15. If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
16. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
d. Nice butt. Are you a Sagittarius?
17. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
I'VE SEEN .............
I’VE SEEN ……
I’VE SEEN CASTLES MADE OUT OF SAND
MET PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE- DESTINY IS ENGRAVED ON THE PALM OF THEIR HAND
I’VE SEEN PEOPLE CHANGE THEIR FAITH
EXPERIENCED LOVE CHANGE INTO HATE
I’VE SEEN PEOPLE GROW YOUNGER WITH AGE
AND A BIRD WHO WOULDN’T FLY OUT OF AN OPEN CAGE
I’VE SEEN LOVE SOLD FOR MONEY
PEOPLE WHO ARE TORN INSIDE BUT OUTSIDE THEY’RE FUNNY
I’VE SEEN THE UNICORN FALL IN LOVE WITH THE TOAD
PEOPLE WHO OWNED HALF THE CITY HAVE NOW HIT THE ROAD
I’VE LEARNED TO EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
PERFECTION DOESN’T EXIST, WE’RE ALL DEFECTED
EVERYONE CRIES , SOME JUST HIDE THEIR TEARS
THEY SAY COAL TURNS DIAMOND OVER THOUSAND YEARS
SOMEONE MAY BELIEVE YOU ARE ONE IN A MILLION
FOR OTHERS YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER NOBODY IN THE BILLION
SO LIVE WITH ALL THAT YOU HAVE
CHERISH ALL YOUR MOMENTS HAPPY OR SAD
FEEL BLESSED WITH WHAT YOU ARE
‘COZ LIFE IS TOO SHORT ‘N WE CAN’T GO TOO FAR …..
Sunday, August 28, 2011
CARRER OFFICER - BANE OR BOON ???
“CAREER OFFICER” - THE VENUS FLY TRAP?
Genesis
My limited intellectual faculties were energised when, one fine day, my Commanding Officer informally put forth the question “Are you a Career Officer ” ? I searched frantically for an answer and came up with none. It was then that I took the onus on myself for searching a plausible answer. During the course of my quest I came across varied opinions, perceptions and moments of self-introspection which led me to pen down my thoughts about the significance, implications and success “mantras” for being a ‘Career Officer’.
Empty Suits
At the outset, I came across this rather unnerving perspective of a RAF (United Kingdom) officer who had spent years in training and Selection processes of officers. He opined that “Most military organisations have a highly-structured bureaucracy which encourages officers to be career oriented. In peacetime, these bureaucracies are often able to develop and promote the ‘Empty Suits’, an appropriate euphemism which describes individuals who dress and present well, who are able to identify the right, vital progressive routes for themselves, but who have very limited raw and genuine skills of leadership, save for one essential facet, that of not putting their feet wrong. Such individuals are, in essence, light-weight ‘polystyrenes’, they merely fill a place. However, they remain clean-coated and trouble free, and thus they progress, whilst those with more genuine substance depart, often out of frustration “.
The Venus Fly-Trap
The perspective is rather stark and sordid akin to the Venus Fly-trap, a plant which lures its prey with promises and consumes them for self-sustenance - definitely not an inspiring prospect for green-horns looking forward to a life in the services inspired by examples of leaders such as Washington, Nelson, Bonaparte, Montgomery, Rommel and Zhukov who rose to the top, not by preferment or substantial support from acolytes, but simply because of their abilities, both strategic and personal, which enabled them to inspire their men and, most importantly, achieve military success. Were these gentlemen “Career Officers” too ?
The Devil’s Advocate
Probably, there is no single accurate description which can completely encompass the myriad intangibles associated with being a Military officer. Attributes like great utility, common sense, excellent initiative, social demeanours and sense of duty form the basic tenets of an officer’s character. In that case, why are we compelled to prefix an officer with the word ‘career’, when, in the first place, he has been trained to serve with a single-minded focus and unflinching devotion without ruminating about the ensuing results and rewards. I guess, the answer lies in the fact that the military Officer is human and does not live in a Utopian world completely insulated from strains of pride, jealousy and the desire to be the Numero Uno. In a world where self-worth is generally linked to status which in turn is largely defined by a successful career and its benefits, the Military Officer is obliged to make concerted efforts towards achieving milestones in his career and thereof lies the genesis of the quest to be a “ Career Officer “.
Etymology of Career
The lexicon defines Career as “an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life, usually with opportunities for progress”. Ever since the dawn of civilisation, a man’s worth has been a measure of his status and success. Traditionally, this was defined by a man's capacity to support himself and his family, be it through hunting, fighting or farming. In the modern era our increasing materialistic society judges us with respect to the size of our remunerations; and as one might expect, the road to achieving success in such careers is extremely competitive and time consuming. In the Armed Forces, the remunerations are perhaps substituted by the quest towards ascendancy in the hierarchical ladder.
Public Opinion
In my informal interactions with officers, senior and junior to me in rank and experience about their perceptions, I was shocked to realise that the initial response in hundred percent cases reflected negative connotations of the term ‘Career Officer’. Some oft repeated interpretations of a ‘Career Officer’ were - One who adopted any means to rise in service-compromised the code of ethics, one who compromised his personal life, one who compromised his dreams and so on and so forth.
Balancing the Compromises
While "compromise" remains the operative word, it is important to analyse it with a more liberal viewpoint. “Compromise” could be of personal life, values and beliefs but at the same time rewards could be manifold. Career progression in any field ensures rise in status, associated benefits and remunerations - all very important elements for enhancement of quality of life and self-worth. But let me implant a grain of thought in the reader’s mind by substituting the word ‘compromise’ with ‘balance’. Life is an ongoing quest for a level of acceptable balance in all aspects but sadly, there is no such thing as a perfect balance because life is unpredictable and imperfect. Therefore, in my considered opinion, a ‘Career Officer’ is an individual who has correctly calculated the CPA to the perfect balance within conventionally justifiable limits and is comfortable with the idea of being ‘service oriented’.
Success Mantra.
The key lies in moderation and setting realistic goals for everything - buying a car, purchasing property and even marriage - with specific targets in mind. You simply can’t ignore the fact that you have opposing forces pushing and pulling you in all directions. Whether it’s balance or compromise, we all want to feel we’re living satisfied lives and keeping those around us happy. The final ‘discerning factor’ would undoubtedly be the ‘Man in the Mirror’ at the end of the day, on whom would rest the judgement of success or failure and the ‘Modus Operandi ’ adopted thereof. If however, we could be certain about the following facets of our lives, the struggle for acceptable balance would be somewhat achievable :-
(a) Priorities. It is important to recognise that our priorities will change, sometimes frequently, and if we’re not clear on what parts of our life need our attention first, achieving an acceptable balance will be a struggle.
(b) Flexibility. Life has a way of introducing the unexpected. By avoiding looking at our priorities to be stone rigid, we’ll gain the flexibility we need to adapt to the changes.
(c) Acceptance. The willingness to accept the fact that the level of balance we attain will not always be ideal. The reality is that some days are better than others and some priorities will be easier to satisfy than others.
The Raymonds Man
At the end of a journey of introspection, the realisation has perhaps dawned on me, that, as humans, each one of us needs recognition in some form or the other and our self-worth is inexorably related to our careers. Except a miniscule percentage- we desire success and the yearning for a rising career graph is definitely not unnatural. We are here to serve and whilst doing so our inherent human tendencies would always prod us to excel within the limits of our moral, intellectual and physical capabilities. The mantra is to find the right balance and focus on it while adhering to the basic qualities of an Officer. A ‘Career Officer’ is not a wolf in sheep’s clothing but a man who knows his priorities and most importantly has succeeded in striking the right balance like the proverbial Complete Man.
Genesis
My limited intellectual faculties were energised when, one fine day, my Commanding Officer informally put forth the question “Are you a Career Officer ” ? I searched frantically for an answer and came up with none. It was then that I took the onus on myself for searching a plausible answer. During the course of my quest I came across varied opinions, perceptions and moments of self-introspection which led me to pen down my thoughts about the significance, implications and success “mantras” for being a ‘Career Officer’.
Empty Suits
At the outset, I came across this rather unnerving perspective of a RAF (United Kingdom) officer who had spent years in training and Selection processes of officers. He opined that “Most military organisations have a highly-structured bureaucracy which encourages officers to be career oriented. In peacetime, these bureaucracies are often able to develop and promote the ‘Empty Suits’, an appropriate euphemism which describes individuals who dress and present well, who are able to identify the right, vital progressive routes for themselves, but who have very limited raw and genuine skills of leadership, save for one essential facet, that of not putting their feet wrong. Such individuals are, in essence, light-weight ‘polystyrenes’, they merely fill a place. However, they remain clean-coated and trouble free, and thus they progress, whilst those with more genuine substance depart, often out of frustration “.
The Venus Fly-Trap
The perspective is rather stark and sordid akin to the Venus Fly-trap, a plant which lures its prey with promises and consumes them for self-sustenance - definitely not an inspiring prospect for green-horns looking forward to a life in the services inspired by examples of leaders such as Washington, Nelson, Bonaparte, Montgomery, Rommel and Zhukov who rose to the top, not by preferment or substantial support from acolytes, but simply because of their abilities, both strategic and personal, which enabled them to inspire their men and, most importantly, achieve military success. Were these gentlemen “Career Officers” too ?
The Devil’s Advocate
Probably, there is no single accurate description which can completely encompass the myriad intangibles associated with being a Military officer. Attributes like great utility, common sense, excellent initiative, social demeanours and sense of duty form the basic tenets of an officer’s character. In that case, why are we compelled to prefix an officer with the word ‘career’, when, in the first place, he has been trained to serve with a single-minded focus and unflinching devotion without ruminating about the ensuing results and rewards. I guess, the answer lies in the fact that the military Officer is human and does not live in a Utopian world completely insulated from strains of pride, jealousy and the desire to be the Numero Uno. In a world where self-worth is generally linked to status which in turn is largely defined by a successful career and its benefits, the Military Officer is obliged to make concerted efforts towards achieving milestones in his career and thereof lies the genesis of the quest to be a “ Career Officer “.
Etymology of Career
The lexicon defines Career as “an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life, usually with opportunities for progress”. Ever since the dawn of civilisation, a man’s worth has been a measure of his status and success. Traditionally, this was defined by a man's capacity to support himself and his family, be it through hunting, fighting or farming. In the modern era our increasing materialistic society judges us with respect to the size of our remunerations; and as one might expect, the road to achieving success in such careers is extremely competitive and time consuming. In the Armed Forces, the remunerations are perhaps substituted by the quest towards ascendancy in the hierarchical ladder.
Public Opinion
In my informal interactions with officers, senior and junior to me in rank and experience about their perceptions, I was shocked to realise that the initial response in hundred percent cases reflected negative connotations of the term ‘Career Officer’. Some oft repeated interpretations of a ‘Career Officer’ were - One who adopted any means to rise in service-compromised the code of ethics, one who compromised his personal life, one who compromised his dreams and so on and so forth.
Balancing the Compromises
While "compromise" remains the operative word, it is important to analyse it with a more liberal viewpoint. “Compromise” could be of personal life, values and beliefs but at the same time rewards could be manifold. Career progression in any field ensures rise in status, associated benefits and remunerations - all very important elements for enhancement of quality of life and self-worth. But let me implant a grain of thought in the reader’s mind by substituting the word ‘compromise’ with ‘balance’. Life is an ongoing quest for a level of acceptable balance in all aspects but sadly, there is no such thing as a perfect balance because life is unpredictable and imperfect. Therefore, in my considered opinion, a ‘Career Officer’ is an individual who has correctly calculated the CPA to the perfect balance within conventionally justifiable limits and is comfortable with the idea of being ‘service oriented’.
Success Mantra.
The key lies in moderation and setting realistic goals for everything - buying a car, purchasing property and even marriage - with specific targets in mind. You simply can’t ignore the fact that you have opposing forces pushing and pulling you in all directions. Whether it’s balance or compromise, we all want to feel we’re living satisfied lives and keeping those around us happy. The final ‘discerning factor’ would undoubtedly be the ‘Man in the Mirror’ at the end of the day, on whom would rest the judgement of success or failure and the ‘Modus Operandi ’ adopted thereof. If however, we could be certain about the following facets of our lives, the struggle for acceptable balance would be somewhat achievable :-
(a) Priorities. It is important to recognise that our priorities will change, sometimes frequently, and if we’re not clear on what parts of our life need our attention first, achieving an acceptable balance will be a struggle.
(b) Flexibility. Life has a way of introducing the unexpected. By avoiding looking at our priorities to be stone rigid, we’ll gain the flexibility we need to adapt to the changes.
(c) Acceptance. The willingness to accept the fact that the level of balance we attain will not always be ideal. The reality is that some days are better than others and some priorities will be easier to satisfy than others.
The Raymonds Man
At the end of a journey of introspection, the realisation has perhaps dawned on me, that, as humans, each one of us needs recognition in some form or the other and our self-worth is inexorably related to our careers. Except a miniscule percentage- we desire success and the yearning for a rising career graph is definitely not unnatural. We are here to serve and whilst doing so our inherent human tendencies would always prod us to excel within the limits of our moral, intellectual and physical capabilities. The mantra is to find the right balance and focus on it while adhering to the basic qualities of an Officer. A ‘Career Officer’ is not a wolf in sheep’s clothing but a man who knows his priorities and most importantly has succeeded in striking the right balance like the proverbial Complete Man.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
